Life at the end of the road

July 28, 2012

I’m definitely going to ‘Specsavers’ :-) :-)

Filed under: daily doings — lifeattheendoftheroad @ 11:06 pm

Probably a record for me this. Dunno when I last posted but it certainly hasn’t been since I was at work and now I’m halfway through the week. It’s not like there’s been a lack of things to write about, on the contrary there’s lots gone on. To be quite honest I’ve just not felt like it for fear of going ‘off on one’, OK, I know that I’m always ‘going off on one’ but this week has been exceptional. It is however the ‘silly season’ though, so that has to be expected, allied to that is the major upset of training, then not training, then training again for the new boat plus all this Olympic carp and I’m on a bit of a ‘bummer’ just now.

Not only that but some delinquent wee 5h1t bag knicked my camera on the ferry the other day so I lost all the photo’s I’d taken. I hope the teenage t**t chokes on the dope he buys with the money when he flogs it on eBay. Better still I hope he gets drug induced paranoia and spends the rest of his life lurking under a stone.

I don’t really mean that but it certainly made me feel better 🙂 It was my own fault really, I should have moved it when I saw the minibus load of feral yoofs get on the ferry, but hey ho it was getting pretty tired anyway. The Panasonic DMC FZ38 was by far the most durable and reliable camera that I’ve ever owned. Dropped from a great height on several occasions, hurled into a bog then ridden over by the quad, drowned in hot hydraulic oil and left out in the rain it’s a miracle it still worked at all.

So it’s back to the old Chinese Fuji Finepix S8000fd for now, until I can afford another, which, with the amount of debt that I’m in right now will be around the time of the next ice age 🙂 Probably later because my Fujitsu Amilo 3438g laptop is about to die and I really do need to get another puter first, it’s had so much use that the upper case key has broken. That’ll be from when I ‘go off on one’ :-)   

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I can’t really remember what night this grainy sky and wind turbine was but the picture fails to do it justice,

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whatever night it was, this was the morning after at Brochel. I had left home early with the Dude’s CO2 Crossman Ratcatcher in the hope of bagging a bunny, but that, like the rest of the week had been a disaster 🙂

I need to take deep breaths

With the ‘Silly season’ in full swing it’s hard to keep ones cool but it’s an inevitable consequence of the 15% increase in tourist numbers to Scotland this year. Don’t get me wrong I love them, even the campervans that clog up the roads, take up half the ferry and don’t spend any money 🙂 I don’t even mind the sea kayakers that create chaos at Sconser, or even the ‘bin bag fairy worshipers’, though there’s not so many of them this year. The bin bag cults followers leave black bin liners at the end of our road for the fairy to come and remove. I suppose there’s not been as many because they’ve been using my mates bin instead 🙂

My mate has to pay the council an extra £100 PA for this bin as he gets a council tax reduction for his property not being occupied all year round. Not sure what the reduction is but you can bet £100 makes a big dent in it, if I were paying that much extra for other people to fill my bin I’d have something to say about it, or at least put a lock on it. Still at least it means I don’t have to clear up the mess when the pigs find the ‘offerings’ 🙂

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The ‘silly season’ is most evident on roads, forecourts, car parks, and the sea but I’m sure it occurs all over. It started for me on Tuesday with a clown at a petrol pump managing to jam up the garage forecourt in Broadford by driving in the wrong way then another one stopping at a pump. Not the one that was furthest away and nearest the kiosk but the one that was nearest her so no one could use the far away pump. It continued all the way to Sconser by various halfwits stopping in the middle of the main road to admire the view and then manifested itself again first thing on Wednesday.

I know I’m always ranting about the kayakers but that’s just because it’s them I see the most of and they are no more inconsiderate than anyone else. However on this particular morning the ‘gorms’ had definitely left. The car park was busy, seven of them turn up in four cars and start spreading their kit everywhere. The car park is so snarled up that a delivery lorry can’t pull up and our ex policeman port assistant goes to help unload. Having already put four cones in front of the store to prevent planks from parking there, within 30 seconds of him turning his back another canoeist turns up and moves the cones 🙂 However Charlie is very used to dealing with  this type of situation and the brain dead paddler moved on.

In the afternoon there was more of the same, though this time it was on the slipway preventing cars driving off the ferry. When the offending clown was asked by a customer to move he got quite shirty 😦 Yesterday another two turned up in half a gale and started unpacking with the wind touching 30 knots on occasions and a steady force 5 for most of the day but they still went out.

 270712 009

It may not look very rough in the picture, for it wasn’t just there, but that wee bird at the bottom

storm petral   Storm perel


is a storm petral and we only ever see those in bad weather. A bird that spends all its life at sea bar breeding not a great deal is known about it despite it being endemic in one form or another around the globe. It’s not a common  visitor here but we have had a couple land on the deck of the boat in winter dazed and disorientated, one of them dying (that one on the hatch) but one of them flying off again once it recovered.

Anyway enough of gormless folk I’ll try and get back on track with something that really did make me smile.


 UNTITLED: McDonald's ad


I dunno what happened to the Olympic ideal when you have a company like Macdonald’s sponsoring it and not only that but preventing anyone from even using the ‘protected games marks’,  get this.


1. What are the protected Games’ Marks?
All of the official names, phrases, trade marks, logos and designs related to the 2012 Games and the Olympic and Paralympic Movements (collectively referred to as the ‘Games’ Marks’) are protected by law in a variety of ways.

The following are some of the current items that make up the Games’ Marks:

  • The Olympic Symbol
  • The Paralympic Symbol
  • The London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Emblems
  • The London 2012 mascots
  • The word ‘London 2012’
  • The words ‘Olympic’, ‘Olympiad’, ‘Olympian’ (and their plurals and words very similar to them – eg ‘Olympix’
  • The words ‘Paralympic’, ‘Paralympiad’, ‘Paralympian’ and their plurals and words  very similar to them – eg ‘Paralympix’
  • The Olympic Motto: ‘Citius Altius Fortius’ / ‘Faster Higher Stronger’
  • The Paralympic Motto: ‘Spirit in Motion’
  • The Team GB logo
  • The ParalympicsGB logo
  • The British Olympic Association logo
  • The British Paralympic Association logo
  • (and various derivatives)
  • The London 2012 sports pictograms

Just some of the carp that the corporate lawyers came up with


The world really has gone mad when paragons of fitness and health like Coke Cola and Macdonald’s can have this kind of grip on the Olympiad. For fecks sake they even forced some Greek cafe owner in London to remove his sign ‘The Olympic cafe’ though I also heard he just took off the O 🙂 Imagine that you have a business that you’ve run for years and these multinational t**ts make you take your sign down because it, well because it what??? can someone explain to me what harm it does and which Nazi enforced this legislation.

Me, I am now buying my wine from


Pepsi-drinking, Nike-wearing, MasterCard-using customers to receive 30% off as part of anti-Olympics Oddbins campaign

Apparently if you go into Oddbins with a Kentucky Fried Chicken receipt wearing Nike trainers and pay by MasterCard you’ll get 30% off 🙂

I love it

  Oddbins Versus Olympics in New Guerilla Campaign


I think that the Oddbins guerrilla campaign may have circumvented the LOCOG fascists but no such luck for


who are being taken to court by these ar5ehole5.

However, with my eyesight failing, college looming and a spare pare of spectacles required, I am most definitely going to .


This advert appearing in all the national daily’s only hours after the huge gaffe at Hampden park when the wrong flag appeared on the North Korean’s video screen.



Whilst I view advertising companies with about the same contempt that I reserve for banks this has to go down in history as one of the best ways to capitalize on a major event without paying a gazillion pounds in sponsorship deals. Well done Specsavers, I’ll be around shortly 🙂

Probably with a condom in my pocket

Marketing Concepts: Super Glue

some ‘Super glue’ on my trainers

Cite: Pfizer

and some Viagra instead of the Tramadol 🙂

Why do we put up with this carp 🙂

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So whilst hoards of peeps were trying to get away from the opening ceremony and all the athletes were arriving yours truly was coping with his own rush hour traffic 🙂

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London 2012 or a showery summer day on Raasay with some porpoises

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absolutely no contest 🙂

olympic porpoise

How did I miss it ???

On account of me being preoccupied with other things the barbecue at the village hall on Raasay completely passed me by.



Held to raise funds to feed and accommodate a group of voluntary workers it was by all accounts a great success despite the weather.


Some sharp thinking coming up with this ‘all weather’ arrangement inside a trailer 🙂


Just wish I’d been there.

"Last night a barbeque was held at the community hall to raise funds for the International Voluntary Service group who are joining us on the island in September. The group are to work in and around the hall – painting and gardening. They give their services free in exchange for food and board. Money raised last night is to provide lunches and dinners while they work!  An evening of heavy rain did not spoil the enjoyment as the barbeque was loaded into a horsebox and delicious beefburgers and sausages were prepared there!!!!!!  A huge thank you to everyone who supported the evening and to team who worked so hard to make it a success.”

Many thanks to Anne Oliphant for the report 🙂

I know, it’s a bit chaotic, disjointed and vague but it’s midnight now and I need my bed.


  1. I really love reading your page,your photos are fantastic. It’s almost like being there. Brenda

    Comment by Brenda Menzies, Inverness — July 29, 2012 @ 3:23 am

    • Hi Brenda and welcome, glad you’re enjoying the blog and sorry I’ve not been as prolific of late, just way toooooo much going on 🙂

      Comment by lifeattheendoftheroad — July 29, 2012 @ 1:17 pm

  2. So sorry your camera got nicked. You have a good eye, even if you need specsaver help. Is it required to transport feral yoofs, or can you force them to take an IQ test before boarding? What if their guilt forced them to jump into the sea in remorse? Nay, the ferry should protect them from suicide and ban them for life.

    And may your good natured sense of humor make a full recovery too.

    Comment by Drgeo — July 29, 2012 @ 7:38 am

  3. Just wondering when you say there is a 15% increase in tourists do you think its people getting away from some game thing in London or have people started to realise how beautiful Scotland is?

    Comment by rob — July 29, 2012 @ 8:42 am

    • Dunno Rob,

      probably the topsy turvy weather has much to do with it, we seem to get the exact opposite of the south so what have been disastrous English summers of late have been marvelous up here. I know one couple who ’emigrated’ to the south of England to get away from our miserable summer only to be confronted with the first of the many floods.

      Comment by lifeattheendoftheroad — July 29, 2012 @ 1:37 pm

  4. If I had the chance I would be another one to add to the 15% increase, but I have to work at the shopping centre adjacent to the Olympic park. Not only are all the stories about the olympic police true, what is not mentioned is the power they have over business near the Olympic park.

    If Locog decide the stores need to close we have 5min notice to close, and don’t even mention vehicle access, the police with guns, changes to train timetables, the crowds………..

    Oh dear I seem to have ‘gone off on one’

    Keep the posts flowing!

    Comment by Ian Goodrick — July 29, 2012 @ 9:15 am

  5. Yep, people do lack imagination in all walks/paddles of life. However, it’s worth taking a look at this 60 year old businessman’s epic paddle from the Isle of Man to Monaco to raise money for 5 children’s charities. He’s about to embark on the French leg right now.

    Comment by Jonathan Mosse — July 29, 2012 @ 12:54 pm

    • Hi Jonathan, a very worthy cause indeed, looks like he’s halfway across the Channel right now

      though I’m a little puzzled at what the day job is I am a Director and founder of Dominion Marine Corporate Service and specialise in yacht ownership structures sounds like he does a lot at the ‘customer interface’ 🙂 on second thoughts having just seen the website it strikes me as he really does not need to do this sort of thing so fair play to him and well worth a donation from ‘the end of the road’

      Comment by lifeattheendoftheroad — July 29, 2012 @ 1:13 pm

      • A wee bit of publicity in the blog would be brilliant. I followed him for a day along the Shropshire Union Canal into Birmingham and he’s one helluva nice, modest and unassuming sort of guy. I’ve a slide show of images covering the 24hrs I was with him that I can let you have. He also put up a pretty good showing in the Devices – Westminster Canoe race this year as part of his training.

        Comment by Jonathan Mosse — July 29, 2012 @ 1:26 pm

  6. Well paul, me thinks someone need’s to accidently on purpose run over the kayakers kit. They’d sharp shift if an artic beared down on them in the car park. The republic doesent suffer such inconsiderate twonks….luckily. Although, we do suffer from passing place. Parkers..dip5hits or the tourist that drives twenty yards past the passing place, then won’t reverse….i have a 1985 daily mirror in the landrover that i pretend to read… They soon get the message…

    Comment by The Peoples Republic of Northumbria — July 29, 2012 @ 5:47 pm

    • Morning Steve,

      quite looking forward to visiting ‘the republic’ 🙂 i have a 1985 daily mirror in the landrover that i pretend to read I have a 1986 Land Rover, I just drive straight at them then go off road at the last minute, puts the fear of God in them, for they seldom have a clue how wide their car actually is 🙂 🙂 Then of course from May until September of 2002 I didn’t actually have a reverse gear anyway 🙂

      Comment by lifeattheendoftheroad — July 31, 2012 @ 5:05 am

  7. you know i love raasay social notes, porpoise pix almost as much as pix (in a later post) of miss mollie. has she got her bikini body back? she’s looking very sleek.

    Comment by jeannettesmyth — July 31, 2012 @ 1:43 am

    • Morning Jeannette, Molly is just posing, the ‘wee dug’ is holding her tummy in 🙂

      Comment by lifeattheendoftheroad — July 31, 2012 @ 5:19 am

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